The A-Train

Jonas Brothers 3D Concert Experience: Michael Eisner Tells One Of Them They're Adopted

I worked at the Jonas Bros 3D thus-and-such premiere in Leicester Square last night. Escorted Gillian McKeith and her family down the carpet, where there was a disaster involving sibling-autograph-rivalry, terrifying Jonai bouncers and me not being good at yelling at people. Heard a lot of yelling. Saw a lot of lone old dudes in the crowd. That's about it. Learned the technical distinction between 'PR', 'press' and 'publicity' mere days after learning what hedge funds are.

This is my leg behind DJ Ironik (I didn't know either):

ps Those heels got me a sleazy up and down look from Middle Jonas. The one who doesn't look related to any of the others. It was a thrill-ride.

I'm glad those shoes never got stolen.

Cannes '09

Things I have inadvertently sent to the Cannes Film Board on promotional DVDs, labels and other materials:

- Human blood (papercut)
- Enchilada (enchilada)

The Hannah Montana premiere

Highlights of the Hannah Montana premiere:

- Miley Cyrus' complete inability to walk in her hot hot shoes.
- Billy Ray doing this thing where the barracked fans are flipping out, he gives this stern stare into the crowd, then, maintaining the stare, starts dancing his way over to them. He did this at least four separate times.
- Miley shouting (accidentally) into my ear "WHERE ARE THE HOT ONES?"
- Walking Mitch Hewer, ie Maxxie from Skins, all the way down, through press and paparazzi, and basically becoming bff with his mom. I touched him gently on the elbow a lot. 

I start work on Monday.

I got cursed by one of these today (except it was a small boy child), 100% seriously.

I saw this on Sunday and it was very much incredibly good.

So what does all of this mean for me? The supernatural, and also post-production work? Great? Great.

Homeward Bound II: Lost In San Francisco (1996)

As it turns out I am going back home to California on Monday for two weeks. These have been the most bizarre couple weeks of my graduated, professional life. Between writing for Vice and the Rubbish LFW stuff, I have come to the conclusion that I am qualified for the following occupations:

- Blogging
- Being an in-store representative for a company which 3D models your body to design custom jeans.
- Wear jodhpurs and be on the receiving end of some lighthearted harrassment.
- Going to Vanity Fair parties, getting embarrassing on free champagne and being carried home by the Mantern.
- Post-production work. Everything you've read up til now may have been a prelude to this, and whatever I'm a nozzle. It looks like I got me a placement at PPC, a film marketing company in Soho. I'm embracing the whole now-is-a-good-time-to-do-anything-but-be-actually-employed mentality, and I'm completely psyched about this.

But until that, all I can say is, I cannot wait to see these two:

This post is a little bit about Amsterdam, and a lot bit about my pictures in Vice

Amsterdam - not that great.

The Fashion Issue of Vice - There are pictures of me in here, but they call me Fiona (not my name) and things are written that I did not write. For example, on page 101 where I look like a fat hooker, I DID NOT WRITE: "My initial plan was to visit a guy I used to, ahem, screw but then I realised he wouldn't know anything was up."

Not me. False. Intern Fiona. Who is wonderful. And lewd. Jokes. How my pics got in instead of hers is a long story, and a fun one, and this was all planned and fine. I just wanted to clear that up.

With that said

hoo ha mah pictures are in a mag-aw-zine!